I ate my wafer...


Some of you probably remember that none of the variations on the Myer-Briggs or Jung Typology Tests work with me whatsoever. If I take the tests quickly, without thinking too much about the answers, my resaults vary dramatically from day to day. If I think about the questions too much, I can barely answer because I know that my actually answers would depend on many situational factors not listed in the test.

Examples: (from here, and typed rapidly, typos and all)

"You get pleasure from solitary walks: YES/ NO"

My thought process:
Hmm, it depends...I like to take solitary walks sometimes, but is that just because noone is around, or because I'm actually looking for solitude. I do like to walk in the rain at night, but is that better or worse if other people are there?...It depends on the people, and the night, and the rain, and my day, and the area I'm walking in, and what other things I have to do that day, and how cold the rain is, or might there be stars visible, but then it would probably be cold, and whether I've walked alone recently...the last time I took a solitary walk, I wandered into a crappy part of town, and that sucked....but it might not always suck, because sometimes that slightly on edge feeling is nice, but sometimes it isn't, it depends on the what kind of a mood I'm in, and what if i sometimes feel lonely even walking with other people.....

"You feel more comfortable sticking to conventional ways YES/NO"

My thought process:
conventional ways of what? seducing sheep? I do like naturally carbonating my homebrew, but I also like using commerical liquid yeast, rather than just hoping that the beer spirts send the right wild yeast like everyone did up to 1900...crap, I need to get my beer into bottles soon...but maybe I should keg it all instead...I'm sort of ethically conventional, but I'm nearly a rabid member of the ACLU and the EFF, but I dislike gun control, but I dislike the rabid elements of the NRA...hmm, maybe by convention, they mean things that other people do...what other people, my friends, or normal people, which groups of my friends are conventional,

I think I just discovered that the run of the mill internet quizes don't work either:

This one is the current object of discussion over at the Highlands Alumni Group. I took it as utterly fast as possible, with minimal thinking.

My resualts:

Gender Identity
Are You More Masculine or Feminine?

Bob, you're 90% feminine

This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with women.You're also 10% masculine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with men. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhatmore feminine than other men.But what is gender identity exactly? A person's gender identity is defined by the extent to which they see themselves as masculine or feminine. Every person possesses both masculine and feminine qualities to some degree, however the extent to which each person has these qualities differs widely. While you were taking the test, we calculated your scores in 6 areas typically defined as masculine and 6 areas typically defined as feminine.


In a smoke shrouded reflection

So, I spent a couple of hours yesterday helping my dad clean out his storage shed building. Over the last 15 years or so, it had been accumulating various bits and pieces of lumber, pipe, wiring, electric motors, cannibalized appliance parts, electronic bits, and other similar items that just seemed to useful to throw out. The goal of the cleanup was simply to remove and organize enough to park his new lawnmower inside (which would condense all of the lawn equipment into a single building). Anyway, in the process, we stumbled over lots of interesting and long forgotten bits and pieces, including the inside review mirror for my mother's 1974 Nova. Why keep a mirror? Because the car had been ordered without adding the option for a day/night mirror (little switch for driving at night), and in early 1975, my dad had gotten my mother a mirror via the Goebel brother's automobile recycling facility ("junkyard"). As it turned out, given GM's quality control in that era, the new mirror didn't fit quite right, and occasionally loosened. So, my dad kept the original mirror around, probably for quick replacement if the junkyard mirror ever fell off entirely and broke. Remember that this was 30 years ago, and my Mom traded the Nova for one of the first k cars=the Nova has been gone for a very long time.

When we rediscovered the mirror, my dad thought about it for a second, then decided that he would keep it, and put it in his workshop building for safety purposes (It would be a handy mirror to check ones eyes for errant chips). He then placed the mirror in the tool basket of the Propane BBQ (which hasn't been used this year due to the purchase of a charcoal model) and wheeled the whole thing outside. At this point we spent another hour cleaning things up. After finishing, we decided to light the BBQ, and let it burn for a bit, to clean it up a bit, and possibly use it to cook that evening. We pulled the lava rock tray out, set it aside, inspected the burner parts, then finally lit the burner. Everything looked good, so we stuck the lavarock tray back in, and decided to let it burn for an hour or so to clean the lava rocks. We then wandered away.

Some ten minutes later, we walked back past the BBQ, noticed a horrible smell, and turned to see sheets of flame dripping from its underside, immediately over the rubber hose from the propane tank. So, we were a bit concerned, and discussed possible causes. I favored the "there is something inside of it onfire" theory, while my dad favored the "there is something horribly wrong with the propane burner" theory. We decided that the fastest way to find out was to shut off the gas, so we did, but the flames keep coming, with the addition of molten drips of metal. At this point we opened the cover, and looked inside so see our own reflections staring back at us, surrounded by vile, black smoke and orange flames...when we had removed the lava rock grate, we happened to set it on top of the mirror, and the mirror had stuck to the grate, at least long enough to transfer into the BBQ. The mirror continued to burn for another 2 minutes or so, at which point very little, other than the glass was left.


1. We need new lava rocks. I don't think whatever toxic plastic residue and molten metals the mirror left behind will improve the taste of meat.

2. It takes at least 5 minutes on "Hi" to light a rearview mirror. Fortunately it must take more than 10 minutes to melt the propane hose with molten mirror chunklets.

3. The instructional manual for the BBQ does not have a warning with regards to this situation, I suggest the following:

"WARNING: Lava rock basket (Part "r") has slots that may trap rearview mirrors. This may lead to the accidental incineration of a mirror, and may cause an explosion from molten metal dripping onto the gas cylinder hose (Part "g"). Before each use, carefully inspect the Lava rock basket (Part "r") for stray 1972 Nova mirrors. Failure to follow this precaution may result in death, serious injury or create steaks that, if consumed, will cause your children to be deformed in the manner of a Hindu deity, possible even as badly as Lord Ganesha."


politics once again

I have been avoiding political commentary for quite a while, but the Blandus/Jake combo has sucked me back in.

Sarin is the Crystal Meth of WMDs...

The topic is, Sarin gas, which is the easiest to synthesize of all nerve agents. Hence its use in the Tokyosubway , the Iran-Iraq war, etc.

As Blandus readily insinuated, Sarin is powerful stuff. However, the shelf life of Sarin is quite poor as chemical weapons go. In fact, a matter of a few weeks totally degraded Iraqi Sarin manufactured in, and around the Iran-Iraq war. So, unless the Sarin found happened to be of very late production, say immediately before Gulf War 1.0, it has been basically inert for many years. (Note, when I say Inert, I should say very weak...it probably would be as lethal as concentrated Chlorine bleach or Nitric acid fumes.)

In any case, as far as WMD's go, Sarin found in Iraq is a pretty insignificant threat to us. Why? Because terror organizations would just make their own Sarin here, if they wanted to use Sarin. In fact, I would say that in moderately skilled hands, making Sarin is a about as easy, and less detectable than making methamphetamine.

So, even if you buy a significant link between Iraq and al Qaeda
(big hint, neither the Tawhid, nor Ansar al-Islam cut it) the amount of threat, to America, posed by Iraqi Sarin is and was insignificant. If we ever are attakced with Sarin, it will certainly be made right here. Fun factoid o' the day: It would cost our friends way less money in chemicals supplies than it did to buy their plane tickest on Sept.11 if they wanted to synthesize the amount of Sarin used in the subway attacks.


And I Learn New Things All The Time

So I saw a professional soccer game on Friday evening. It was ok, though the rain and the bugs made the last half drag out. Unfortunately, I left my car at the office and rode over to the game with one of our paralegals (so that I wouldn't have to find it in Fort Wayne). We stopped at her house for something like 30 seconds to move a couple of lawnchairs onto the porch, and said hello to the thirteen year-old neighbor girl. Apparently, the neighbor girl told the paralegal's husband ("husband") that his wife had brought a strange man home. The husband is apparently a bit irrationally jealous to begin with, so he promptly got very angry and assumed that his wife was cheating on him. *Meanwhile, I'm sitting fat, dumb, and happy at the soccer game.* So, after the game, he called his wife, and they proceeded to have a very loud, and angry argument on the phone...while I was still in her car. So, I spent nearly 45 minutes being driven around Fort Wayne, on wet streets, by an utterly furious woman. I responded to this whole situation by smoking a vast number of unfiltered Gauloises (which are horrid things).

It turned out ok, I think, and I can now say that I've been chased by a jealous husband, that I've watched professional soccer, and that I've smoked Gauloises. I would just assume only repeat 1 of the 3 experiences!


Bartenders Hate Me

What I want:

A. A good beer, preferably a microbrew that I haven't had, or
B. A small Irish Whiskey (Bushmill's Black for preference), neat, with a glass of water on the side (no ice)

What Happens:

Typically, I ask what beers they have on tap...if the answer is the typical Bud/Miller/Coors products, I ask if they have any Irish Whiskey. About half the time, the response is, "ahh, is that like Black Velvet" or "What is Irish Whiskey, is that new."

Then I explain that Irish Whiskey is one of the oldest distilled beverages, that Bushmills has been in continual operation since 1608, and that Irish Whiskey is sort of like scotch, except that it actually tastes decent.

Then I order MGD.