I ate my wafer...


Valentines Day: lets talk about diamonds.

So, since I’ve been bombarded with radio and billboard ads from jewelry stores for weeks, I feel compelled to post on diamonds. I like diamonds; they’re my second most favorite form of carbon after buckyballs. However, unlike buckyballs, diamonds, contrary to the jewelry industry, aren’t that rare. In fact, they’re kind of common in nature, but the diamond industry has carefully controlled production. Besides artificially increasing the price, the industry, espicially the deBeers group, has conducted a wildly sucessful marketing effort to supplant more traditional engagement gemstones with large diamonds, and to encourage women to avoid used diamonds.

Despite the fact that I am a budding member of the most capitalistic of all professions, I find the artificial market manipulation of the diamond industry irritating. So, the invention of extremely high quality artificial diamonds warms my heart. Not only are artificial diamonds a nicely ironic end-run around the contrived market value of natural diamonds, they avoid all of the nasty moral baggage connected with natural diamonds. Frankly, there's something close to a 1-in-20 chance of buying a conflict diamond in the natural diamond industry even with the Kimberly process, and it is practically impossible to check the origin of a polished natural diamond. On the other hand, the synthetic ones are serial numbered, and completely traceable.

So, if you're in the market for a diamond, consider a synthetic one from Gemesis, Chatham, or Appollo. Not only will your diamond buying dollar buy a larger and higher quality stone, you get to proove yourself smarter than the deBeers marketing, and avoid guilty feelings about civil unrest in Africa and AlQuida diamond money laundering.

I should mention that one of the companies that makes artificial diamonds alledgely allows customers to provide their own carbon. As much as I like the artificial diamond concept, making jewelry out of humans or domestic animals is completely insane. I would much prefer to think that lifegem was a scam than that people were walking around with fluffy or grandma on a ring.


  • Hopefully it's a scam like the Jeff Green Story was.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:09 PM  

  • You say all of that about the evils of diamonds but I MUST say as a recently engaged woman...
    I think Diamonds are ugly. My choice of a blue sapphire stone for my engagement ring actually caused a family fight, but I insisted that diamonds are not pretty.

    By Blogger TheAmber, at 12:29 PM  

  • even less pretty than diamonds are huge, ostentatious, tasteless diamonds.

    and silly me, I always thought diamonds were pulled by the bucket-full, pre-cut and shiney, out of mine shafts dug by jolly dwarfs. which raises the disturbing question, were the Seven Dwarfs on the payroll of Charles Taylor? and are we sure his "child soldiers" are children, and not just de-commissioned mining dwarfs?

    never mind, I'm going to hell.

    By Blogger Krupa, at 2:10 PM  

  • i can't wait until you explain that one to your fiancee... "well honey,

    A. it's not real, but
    B. i swear its higher quality than the real thing, and
    C. i saved money!!!

    lol, what a day...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:17 PM  

  • A. I agree with Amber, there's something a bit cliche or tacky about many huge diamonds.

    B. How exactly would my hypthetical fiancee even know? And I would argue that it IS real.

    By Blogger Bob, at 10:08 PM  

  • yeah, much better to get your fiance a "real" diamond and explain to her that the money you paid for it may be directly funding an army of thugs that regularly gang rape women and dismember their families.

    how romantic.

    By Blogger Krupa, at 10:26 AM  

  • pshhh any girl Bob would marry (or Krupa for that matter I bet) is going to be right on board with a real, commercially produced diamond ... if she even wants a diamond to begin with

    By Blogger TheAmber, at 4:16 PM  

  • I want diamonds! ...although, I want them for their industrial applications. Bob, make me diamonds now.

    By Blogger Finite, at 8:54 AM  

  • Lee,
    If you want diamonds, just take a big bag of charcoal to Hillsdale the next time you're there, and give them out as suppositories. Certainly, lots of Hillsdale students are uptight enough...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:32 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home