I ate my wafer...


(If had half of this post sitting around for a week, screw it, I'm posting it)

So, I went over to my grandmother's house last Friday to transfer a batch of my beer from the fermenter into bottles. My grandmother happens to be very stubborn and healthy (as in hasn't seen a Doctor in 52 years). As most people know, I could tell stories about my grandmothe and her wood eleves for hours.

Bob's Grandmother: So, I just got a call from your Parent's Pastor. He wanted to come over and visit me this afternoon at four (4) PM.

<>Bob: Ahh, well that isn't a problem, I only need you to help me for a couple minutes...*interrupted*

Bob's Grandmother: Don't worry about it, I told him that I was really busy today, he's going to come back next week.

<>Bob: I don't understand, you knew you had time to see him. We would be done transferring the beer by then, I would be gone...*interrupted*

<>Bob's Grandmother: Pastor “X” is not German, or rather he is not of Northern European ancestry, I cannot have him, as a man of the cloth here today. I knew the house would smell like beer, early in the afternoon, and he would not understand...*interrupted*

Bob: Well, the man is a Lutheran Pastor, I know you don't like him, and aren't going to church, but he is not a Southern Baptist, its just good home brewed beer.

Bob's Grandmother: and how would I explain it to him, I mean, he wouldn't understand that it is completely normal for us to have 7 gallons of beer brewing in the basement, and that there has been some 50 gallons there in the last two years!

(Several minutes of beer transfering activites occurs)

<>Bob: *drinks leftover beer in siphon hose, some 2-4 ounces*

Bob's Grandmother: You stop that.

Bob: You want me to waste GOOD beer!?!

Bob's Grandmother: No, but I have to say that, I'm your Grandmother.

(Several minutes of beer transferring activities occurs)

Bob: *drinks beer left in the bottle filler hose*

Bob's Grandmother: You stop that! You need to drive home!

Bob: What! It is just a couple ounces of beer! This is only the second hose-full.

Bob's Grandmother: I've had your beer! There is plenty of alcohol in that, something close to twice normal domestic beer! Besides, if I didn't say anything, you'd just keep making excuses to transfer more beer, and drink more from the hoses.

Later, the quote of the week:


Bob's Grandmother: I never understood buying fancy mixed drinks in a bar, or shots: you can buy three beers for the price of a fou-fou shot in a bar, or at least you could 50 years ago. Beer is cheaper, healthier, and more convenient to drink socially. Buy the three beers instead!


  • Bob, what a great post!! Tell us more stories of your grandmother...she seems to be a right decent chap.

    By Blogger Dan, at 12:03 PM  

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